The iPhone Army (as in “Tanks and Helicopters” Army)

The iPhone has set its sights on world domination: not only has it taken over the smartphone market and brainwashed a fair fraction of the world’s population, it has even taken the Constructicon option of releasing a giant version that’s just four small ones stuck together.

But what weapons can it bring to bear?

1.  iPhone Missile Command

If you just thought of those little office-fun USB missile launchers, you can forget them – and duck.  Four Georgia Tech students built an actual rocket launcher for their iPhones, where rocket here means “something you set fire to one end and make sure nothing you care about is in front of the other.”

The end result looks like MacGyver waging war on a TV repair shop, armed with two brightly coloured missiles – making it the equal of about half of everything G.I. Joe ever fielded.

2.  AR Drone

The AR Drone isn’t just a flying spy robot – it’s a flying spy robot which trains the user to blow things up in the real world.  An “Augmented Reality” game overlays virtual targets on the iPhone display and awards points for blowing them up.  In other words it’s not just the first strike in a robot war, it’s actually recruiting our young to fight on the machines’ side.

The drone isn’t available for sale yet, possibly because Skynet isn’t yet finished.  The release will doubtless be announced by the descending scream of thousands of Apple-branded quadra-helicopter bots – or, as we’ll know them then, the Harbringers of Jobs.

3.  Solar Tank

This is what happens when Captain Planet gets pissed off.

That’s a Solar Powered Tank, and if you don’t think it looks scary that’s because it’s only a 1:100 scale model.  Fossil fuel tanks are limited by their engines, as proven by World War II’s ”Panzer VIII Maus” – 188 tons and so thirsty the only place you could drive it is an oil field, and even then only if you started in the actual oil.  But with solar power the bigger your machine the more power you collect.  So if it suddenly goes dark and you hear a rumbling, the sun hasn’t gone out – it’s just being collected by the mile high solar tank about to crush you.

2.  AR Drone

The AR Drone isn’t just a flying spy robot – it’s a flying spy robot which trains the user to blow things up in the real world.  An “Augmented Reality” game overlays virtual targets on the iPhone display and awards points for blowing them up.  In other words it’s not just the first strike in a robot war, it’s actually recruiting our young to fight on the machines’ side.

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